So i had a dream saturday about the organization im trying to start for jared. it was a weird dream but made me think that it would be a good idea to do. so im back to trying to find a logo for it but i think i have an idea of what i want compared to going in without an idea. we will see what happens. i think it will work out pretty cool if i can find something close to what i want and then make the adjustments that are needed. i was thinking of doing a sword thru a heart (for the hole in hearts part) but instead of just one heart do multiple and that way it kind of shows that one action can effect lots of hearts. thats my goal anyways. i have some other ideas of how im going to try to make some money for it too but im not exactly sure how to do that one yet. not going to say that part yet until i know for sure how to do it LOL. always jinx myself by telling stuff to early. im hoping that i can get everything up and running soon. i think that will help the feeling i keep getting that there are things that i have that i have given up dream wise. i think this dream is my chance to prove that i can still do it. to me that is the biggest dream i have had since he died but could never really figure out how to do it. so maybe that was the whole point of the actual dream i had. to point me in the right direction on what to do. that my mind actually knew what it wanted but didnt want to tell me just yet. :)

got me to think about thanksgiving and family. it makes me laugh because the family i call family isnt really family at all but they are to me in my heart. im thankful for everything that is in my life right now and it just seems like for once that i dont really have to worry or stress over anything. that its just easy going and happiness. im thankful for all my family blood or not. i have so many people that have been there for me with a lot of things and some have left but the few that are left are the few that im glad that are still around. i have come to know a new family. one that i actually feel welcome at and that i am actually wanted there. maybe its just my mind set but it makes me more thankful for the holidays. i know the last few i havent really wanted anything to do with them because i just didnt feel like i belonged or was wanted around. i dont know. but i feel like this year will be different. last year wasnt to bad i loved actually doing the cooking and having something i made for myself. i guess i am becoming some what of a loner if i liked that huh. i dont know just the quiet and able to just relax and watch movies was something i needed.

i hope everyone has a wonderful thanksgiving and that your time with your family is so very wonderful.